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Treat Yo'self!

Like quite a few people I know, I was brought up in a judgement-based environment where every move I made was under constant scrutiny, and per the conversations that took place around me, so was everyone else's. Pointing out what's wrong in others became a sport and a way of life. Nobody was "good enough." Slowly but surely, as a child, this became my normal. Because it was all I heard and saw, every one of my actions emulated that same behavior and manifested through toxic behavior. I could never give people the proper and fair treatment that every single person deserves because, upon meeting them, I was looking for what was wrong and reasons not to trust them vs.respecting them as the individual they were and honoring and acknowledging the true purpose behind us crossing paths.

Why? Because I was subject to that same treatment everyday.

I was nearly impossible to please at times in my life. Why? Because I was used to never receiving the approval that I sought after from those who mattered most to me. There was always something I could do better.

I always spoke negatively of the things I disliked the most about myself. Why? Because I expected others to do the same, and sometimes it just made it easier to deal with the fear and pain of rejection by beating others to the punch and judging myself.

Sadly enough, I never saw my actions for what they were when other people were the target of my projected insecurities. But when I started inflicting that same treatment upon myself subconsciously, I consciously felt that familiar sting of rejection from childhood. That pain opened my eyes. What we have to always take into consideration is that despite of how old you physically become, how much you experience in life, or how challenging your life can become, your inner child never dies. In fact, the inner child is who collects and instills all of our morals, values, and beliefs that shape the way we view life and controls the way we treat ourselves and others. So if you were also a child like me who was trained to accept a distorted version of normal treatment and interaction, then there's a lot of self-nurturing and healing to be done.

I can admit to everyone reading this blog that doing the introspection needed to begin the healing process was one of the most challenging tasks for me and I completely understand why so many people would rather find contentment in dysfunction than to take the chance of entering into uncharted healing waters that cause you to have to relive moments and memories that trigger painful emotions. People have gone through things that have registered as great trauma on their personal radars, and the thought of having to face those things again...alone...is just too much to fathom.

What we all have to acknowledge and accept is that the Law of Attraction is always at work, and whether we choose to face those imbalances head on or not, our inner child is still attracting that negative energy into your life in some form or fashion. In other words, there's no escaping it without facing it! So how do we safely and delicately handle ourselves in this process?

1. It may seem cliche' but the true fist step to improvement is acknowledgement and admittance. Be honest with yourself about everything you feel emotionally. This process does require complete and absolute self honesty in order to be effective. If this is something that brings you fear and anxiety, then seek the help of a therapist, healer or other guided forms of self reflection. You must write these feelings down or record them on a video or voice memo, but be mindful to physically document all your feelings so that you can have them to reference something to reference. When purging your emotions, you can sometimes release more than you were aware was present.

2. For each individual, negative emotion that you identify, ask (out loud) your inner child "Why do you feel this way?" and write down the response that you hear or feel. Again, in order for this to be effective, you must allow yourself freedom of expression without self judgement and you must resist the urge to suppress what flows naturally to the forefront of your thoughts.

3. Once you have answered why you feel the way you feel, replace those negative views of your experiences with the opposite, positive, and nurturing response. Just like we were trained as children to accept everything our parents or guardians told us a truth and law, we have to retrain that inner child to accept a new and positive truth and law. You must physically vocalize these truths in order to ensure that you're subconsciously hearing and applying these truths to your life.

4. As you continue this process daily of learning how to treat yo'self, you will then begin to see the Law of Attraction bring wonderful, loving, and life-filled interactions and situations into your life! The feelings of being lost, confused, or completely out of control of what happens in your life will slowly vanish. When you learn to stop judging yourself, you will find that you are no longer subject to thoughts and opinions that do confirm your newfound truth.


Terrica's example: I used to be a SICKENING perfectionist. Although I originally viewed perfectionism as a trait to be admired, I eventually had to be honest with myself about how much of a self-sabotaging behavior it had become for me. I can remember the exact moment during a vocal lesson that I was teaching and my student made a comment that shined a light on my behavior allowing me to see if for what it was vs. what I told myself it was. Even in my discovery, it was a while before I was ready to face this truth because I found contentment in critiquing (devaluing) my work before anyone else could and especially since my profession had just started pushing me more into the "limelight." In my opinion I had every right and reason to be a perfectionist. But in reality, when I finally embraced the courage to see the truth with out the lens of distorted justification, I had to see that perfectionism was just a title I chose to assign to what was actually my fear of rejection and unhealthy desire for approval. Don't get me wrong. I can always appreciate a compliment and accolades from others and I believe that the energy and driving force that comes with sincere compliments from others is real and needed. But where it became toxic for me is when I desired it from others but did not provide it for myself. I felt that outside sources would provide me the satisfaction I craved. It was an empty, never-ending pursuit. So to remedy this, I began to do daily self affirmations religiously. Every place that I would normally tear myself down with negative words and imbalanced thoughts, I spoke life to. Every place that I could remember where others spoke negatively against with such conviction that I allowed myself to accept what was being said, I had to counteract it with the opposite, positive response. As I began to do this, the way that I viewed myself shifted. I was able to truly grow and flow into who I was created to be and become one with my gifts and talents in a way that allowed me to truly master and cultivate them. From there, all of the opportunities that I dreamed about and desired started to present themselves in my life. Why? Because my re-calibrated Law of Attraction was now creating that same prosperous, positive, nurturing, optimistic, loving energy that I was providing to myself. I understood for the first time in life the true essence of giving to life (self) what I desire from it and how there was no disrupting this divine order. I also understood how everything that I was and was not was absolutely perfect and how I am enough in every state I'm in.


So for my loved ones who may be struggling with controlling the temperature of your life right now or feeling as though you have no control, it's time to treat yo'self how you desire to be treated and direct the Law of Attraction in your life to work in your favor. Be the change you want to see in your life. If you don't value the importance of seeing yourself as someone who deserves love, nurturing and good things in life, you will never attract that energy into your life. But if you are that person in this moment who has not taken the steps needed to love you properly, it's ok! Just take this post as a gentle and loving reminder from God and the universe that you are more than capable of this process, and when you do decide to embrace the courage to begin introspecting, you have ALL the love, support and protection you need and desire to hold that space of vulnerability and unconditional love for yourself! You are great.


With Love,

Terrica



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