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Forgiveness vs. Acceptance (because they're not the same thing)

The thing that I've learned within the last year is that healing doesn't take as long as we make it. We can immediately begin to heal when we choose to accept whatever happened in our lives. It's not the only step, but I strongly believe it is the first. I say that because, from my experience personally and with the majority of my clients, the things we have the hardest time being healed from are usually either things/situations we want "closure" or an explanation for or those situations we actively still feel victimized in. In one phrase...we just can't let go! And therein lies the issue and solution. Letting go is merely accepting that it happened. Now whether you choose to immediately see that it didn't happen to you or because of you, but for you...that's your choice and most likely dependent upon your strength level (because it's a true challenge especially when the offenses are justifiably TRIFLING), But the small act of simply accepting that it happened and there's nothing you could/should have done to stop divine order will make a monumental difference in your healing process.

Like many people, I used to believe that forgiveness and acceptance was one in the same. But within my studies and research I've learned that they are absolutely not the same thing. Forgiveness is a pardon for one's wrongdoing and the act of letting it go (or choosing not to focus on it any longer). Let's use the classic example of cheating. If my spouse cheats on me and I find out, I have to make a choice to forgive him or not. So if I say I choose to forgive him and trust that he'll never do it again, that means I choose to release it from my conscious thought process and move on. That's half the process.

In order for this to even be able to progress after the offense and forgiveness, I now have to accept within myself that it happened. Whereas we always look outward for closure, it comes from within when we accept what happened. There was nothing that was supposed to happen any differently because whatever happens is what's meant to happen. That's the scenario of it going the way it's meant, but unfortunately what ends up happening most times is that we never accept what happened and we constantly replay it in our minds. What happens then is that all of the negative energy we feel as we relive those moments is now festering inside of us and is also manifesting in imbalanced ways and behaviors. That's why people are out here going through phones, holding people hostage emotionally, attempting to strip their freedom in order to soothe their mind, and these days even going so far as to killing their spouses, Where does the cycle end?

So as with this and any other scenario in life that involves you being hurt and having to make a choice to forgive and accept or not, just remember that it's for your mental, emotional, and energetic freedom. Be honest and gentle with yourself when you're hurt and allow yourself to feel every emotion that presents itself...just don't act on anything. Sometimes we need to healthily purge our emotions before we can make the decision to forgive and accept. In fact, it's the only way you can do it because once you make the decision to do so, there is no going back or bringing it back up unless for reasons to learn. Otherwise, free yourself! Heal and do not stunt your growth by not releasing that which does not elevate you. I love you and you are so strong and well capable! Keep going.


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