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Death by Way of Silence

It's ironic how we say so often that communication is key. Even sometimes as a symbol of silence, we zip our lips and hypothetically throw away the key to show our intentions of silence. Now, I don't want to be too analytical about things, but regardless of how satirically we make these gestures, it holds a very powerful meaning.

No matter what area or facet of life we find ourselves in, I'm sure we all can agree that some form of communication is vital for smooth operation. But if that is the case, then why do we find it so hard to verbally express ourselves? I get that there are so many learned behaviors shoved down our subconscious throats from day 1 that teach us how to "adjust" our language according to the room we are in (personally not here for it), but that toxicity spills over into the most non-conducive atmosphere for a lack of communication...our personal relationships. Everyday people are literally living with people they refuse to talk to or are afraid to talk to. In strong efforts to hurt and deprive others of the healthy energy that comes from communication, people are readily administering the "silent treatment" to people they love. And for what?

Honestly speaking, I used to be this person. It wasn't until recent years that I was able to fully heal and reactivate my throat chakra because for years, thoughts felt safer than words. We all have our personal reasons for choosing silence, but the root of my decision was fear.I feared judgement. I feared rejection. I feared the responses of others to what I may have to say. I feared confrontation. I feared offending others. I feared saying the wrong thing. Most of all, I feared hurting others with my words. So what did I do? I allowed myself to be hurt instead. That hurt looked like constant, unhealthy overthinking and physical ailments that were directly connected to stress and anxiety. The energy of everything that needed to be released from my vessel was now trapped because I chose to "throw away the key." Now as I previously stated, I have since overcome these passive aggressive characteristics, but I am still left with quite a bit of the stored trauma within my body from everything that was held in. I'm actively healing from it all through speaking my truth loudly and clearly through my podcasts, self-help videos, Life Coaching sessions, etc. I am adamant about the specific topics I speak on because these were my karmic areas I've had to overcome without any immediate reference as to what to do aside from God.

I say all of this to drive home the fact you have to overcome this silence. It does you no good to know exactly what needs to be said to someone concerning something specific and you won't allow yourself the freedom of speech to address it. It especially doesn't serve you if you find yourself replaying it over and over in your mind or calling up every friend in your friend list to complain to them about an issue that should be directed elsewhere. Be honest with yourself. That's a sickening feeling isn't it? And you'll never feel any relief from it until you make healthy communication a priority for you. Even if after a few days you're finally able to let it go from your mind, the only thing that has happened at that point is what I stated about myself earlier: that negative energy has simply re-dispersed itself elsewhere in your body and is now creating more issues.

So how do you break away from this fear of communication? Here are a few tips that truly helped me:

  1. I learned from others. When people are bold in their audacity, they will say any and every thing to you without any regard for your feelings. Even though I am in no way condoning reckless speaking, I am telling you that there is a lot to learn from their boldness. If they can be bold in negativity and ignorance, you can definitely give that same energy to speaking your truth!

  2. I constantly remind myself that the thoughts and opinions of others concerning me and my choices is NOT MY BUSINESS! I know as empathic people we can sometimes truly and correctly gage another person's possible reactions to what we have to say, but in the case communication flow, you have to move around it. Remember that you are not speaking for a reaction, but you are speaking for the release of truth from your inner being.

  3. There is no right or wrong way to self-express. As long as the intention is to never use words as weapons, expression can sound how it needs to or come in whatever form it needs to. Allow your heart to lead the way.

I hope this is helpful!

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1 Comment

whoa, yeah. I think all empathic people were told in some way that our emotions were "Too Big." We walked away every time hearing that no one wants to hear all that... keep it to yourself. Then you become an adult and others expect you to start dumping those TOO Big emotions on them. At 46 I'm in a relationship where he cares to know, and I'm like holding on to those thoughts, emotions going, "No, they're mine.... you THINK you wanna hear em.. trust me, let me go hermit up in my room for a day or two it'll be much easier for everyone." LOL. Yes, this is actually happening recently. As I write this I'm laughing, it'…

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